Posts Tagged ‘ Risque ’

WHO WANTS TO PUT A PENIS IN THEIR MOUTH, FIRST THING IN THE MORNING?

 

Its no secret that I work in the television industry and I love watching tv, so whenever I can combine my love for TV and writing, I take advantage of it.   With that being said…..today’s post is brought to you by BET’s new hit series, Being Mary Jane.  If you haven’t seen the show it stars, Gabrielle Union who is a successful news anchor.  To the outside world it seems like she has it all, money, a beautiful house, car and a dream career.  Of course, she’s missing one thing, love.  

Last week the season opener ended with a bang, literally, as that fine ass Omari Hardwick boldly took over Gabby’s body in a fancy gym’s locker room shower (I’m not really sure why he was able to walk up in the women’s locker room without getting stopped but that’s neither here nor there).  Sounds great and all but the man is married.  Fast forward to this week’s episode it opened up with the already married man, proposing to Gabby (yeah, none of this I believe because in what world do a man leave his wife for the side chick? But again that’s neither here nor there).  In one scene Omari and his wife (not Gabby), were arguing about sex and his wife asks a very important question….. “Who wants to put a penis in their mouth, first thing in the morning?”

Who? I’ll tell you who should want to…..His wife! The woman who asked that ridiculous question.  First off I personally believe if you’re in a relationship with someone from boyfriend to girlfriend to man and wife and you’re currently sexually active with that person then you both have an obligation to please each other.  If you’re grown….Let’s say at least 28 and up I’m going to assume that you participate in oral sex.  If your man wants to be awaken by a little head in the morning, then gosh darn it roll over and give that man a little head in the morning.  Put him right back to sleep, and when he finally gets up and out of that house he’ll be thinking of you all day until he gets back home for part two.  You should want to please your man and surprise him every once in a while.

Am I suggesting to do it, every single morning? Helllllll NO! LOL, maybe twice a week, lol.  I’ve said this before, I believe giving a man oral sex should sometimes be earned.  Definitely don’t be waking up and rolling over and surprising him with morning head if he’s a disrespectful bastard.  If he’s good to you in and out of the bed, then he earned some morning head.  Everyone knows if you ain’t giving a man what he wants then he will go out and find it else where.  I’m not saying be submissive to him but sex should be fun.  Sex shouldn’t feel like a job and if you do the same ol’ crap over and over it becomes a job so you gotta throw some wrenches up in there, like some morning head.  

To my ladies who don’t believe in that, here’s my advice.  You better start believing in it, especially if you expect the guy to give you some morning or night head.  To my ladies who may not be as good as you’ll like to be at giving head or need some help in that department…. I actually happen to have a very popular entertaining youtube video (almost 14,000 views) that’ll give you some help. http://youtu.be/_Cpqt_piI8k

Thank me later!

R.L. Wynder

 

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Oh My! He has really BIG…..Feet!

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I recently over heard a conversation on the subway, where two women were discussing the possibility of having sex with some man.  Here’s how the conversation went: Girl 1: “I can’t wait until I get all of that 11.5 inches…..”  Girl 2: “Wait, what?!  How do you know the exact size of that man’s penis.”  Girl 1: “I think he wears about a 11.5 in shoe size so obviously that’s the size of his penis.” Girl 2 then starts to laugh in a similar way that I was laughing in my head.

Do all men with huge feet have large penises?  Is there any truth to this sterotype or is it just a flat out lie made up by some man with large feet and a small penis?  I’m sure all men with large feet have no complaints about this saying, so I’m sure you’ll just disregard everything that I’ll say in this post.  To your defense (and everyone who believes this), back in the day and I mean…..way back in the day according to Darwinian Evolution Theory, if men had large penises and small feet, they would keep falling forward. Obviously one day they’ll hit their heads on a stone, bust their heads open to the white meat and eventually leading them to their demise.  According to the Theory it was common sense, survival of the fittest.  Well….sorry guys, my common sense is telling me that this is a bunch of bull crap!  It should be no surprise to anyone that a man’s shoe size or his hand size has nothing to do with his penis size.  

I’m sure every lady and some of you men have been in a “situation” with a man, checked out his shoe size, his hand size and thought you were about to see the king of kong but instead you were disappointed when he pulled out the smurf of all smurfs.  All of your dreams and hopes for that myth to be true was shattered.  

Don’t get me wrong there are some people with small feet carrying a huge gun and there are men who actually live up to the myth and It has everything to do with genetics.  So to all of you men out there who don’t add up to your shoe size you should blame your daddy or the men on your mom’s side, and oh…please don’t act like you have more than you do, just embrace it and become great at other things (wink ;)).  Ladies don’t just assume a man is packing based off of his shoe size…..you may end up disappointed.  

For your entertainment only, I’ve included a chart of what your penis size should be, according to your shoe size.  

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Risque The Novel Trailer

Risque The Novel’s SIZZLING Trailer starring Lourdes (@LouLo_Star) & Will (@Hollyceasar).  Two very talented people, follow them on twitter and show them some love.  You can also follow me @RLwynder.

Enjoy!

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