Archive for the ‘ Sex ’ Category

What Exactly is Tantric Sex?

Most of you know that I started shooting a new show this week so I’m going to be having a rough time balancing work, writing for the blog site and writing the new Risque novel.  I promise I’m going to be trying my best to please you all and to keep you on your Risque fix.

Today’s topic is very interesting. It’s something I’ve never done before but wouldn’t mind doing it, I just know it’ll be hard to find a guy who’ll be willing to try this with me and fully commit to it.  Before I do anything I always like to do my research, this way we can all learn about this at the same time.

I first heard about this particular type of sex through Diddy.  Way before I was on twitter Diddy twitted that he was in his 35th hour of  marathon sex.  Do I believe he would pick up the phone during sex?  Yes.  Would I have smacked the beJesus out of him if I was the woman?  Yes.  I became curious, did a little research, found it to be too confusing and soon forgot about it until Dawn & Que tweeted about it.

What am I talking about my peeps?  I’m talking about Tantric Sex which is the slow sustained form of sexual intercourse founded on Indian mysticism.  We’re going to take a deeper look into what it is and the benefits from it.  I think we can all agree when we have sex we all want the same outcome, to feel good and for lack of better words to bust a nut.  Tantric Sex is just the opposite.  Your goal during a session of Tantric Sex should be to prolong the orgasm in order to increase your sexual energy and intimacy with your partner.

Why would anyone want to do that?  Have sex and not have an ending point?  It’s because Tantric Sex allows you to feel and focus on all of the other feelings and emotions that happen before the orgasm.  Even though Tantric Sex can last up to an insanely number of hours, another one of your goals is to preserve your energy.  When you experience an orgasm or release any amount of come, you are releasing energy from your body.  Don’t worry it is possible for men to have an orgasm with out releasing any fluid, but normally that comes with being a pro at Tantric Sex.  A man must be able to have enough control mentally and physically to have what they call a dry orgasm, on purpose.

I like to describe Tantric Sex as sexual yoga, because it’s based on breathing to cycle energy.  You breath in each other’s air to create energy.  Sort of like sexual photosynthesis (without the light).  It involves a lot of conscious breathing, eye contact and visualization.  It’s connecting spiritually with your partner.  It sounds like hard work and it is but here are a few beginner points if you’re interested in pursuing in this spiritual sexual act.

SETTING THE MOOD

You should be in a comfortable area a place where you are most relaxed.  You should accent the room with candles, flowers & dim lighting and anything sensual.  Anything distracting such as the tv, cell phones and clocks should be turned off.  It’s ok to have music playing softly in the background.  Scents are very important to sensuality so it’ll be a plus to have some oils, scented candles or incense burning as well.

Concentrate on Breathing

Breathing allows you to easily sync with your partner which is why breathing is so important in Tantric Sex.  One of the easiest way to do this is to have the woman straddle the man’s lap and your breathing should be opposite.  Meaning while she’s inhaling, he should be exhaling causing you to breath in each other’s breath, therefore creating energy.

Keep Eye Contact

This is also another way to stay sexually connected and intimate.  You know how they say the eyes are the windows to your soul.  Imagine making love to our partner seeing their soul and experiencing what they’re feeling.  It’ll only heighten your sensuality driving you both to a new level of ecstasy.  It’s a little difficult to do being that people naturally close their eyes when something feels good or bad.  Just try and stay conscious of keeping your eyes open.

Take Your Time

In my opinion sex is better when you take your time, and I’m obviously not the only person that believes this.  Four play is very important when it comes to Tantric sex.  Take your time with it, explore every inch of each other’s body.  The longer the four play the better, because the slow build helps men control longevity and piques women’s arousal.  The act of four-play is to build energy and that’s what Tantric Sex is all about.  So the longer you build your energy the longer your session will last.


Good Luck and I really hope you step outside of your sexual box and try something new.  After researching this topic I believe it can redefine sex.  If you’re tired of the old get in get out, humpty dumpty acts of regular sex, I challenge you to challenge yourselves and try Tantric Sex.  As soon as I post this, you better believe I’m starting my campaign to convince my boo to try it with me.  I know it’ll be a lil harder to convince the men but ladies give it a try!

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Getting It In While Pregnant

Today’s post may be a little unusual for some but as a writer my job is to cater to all and to make all happy.  First off I would like to say congratulations to my wonderful cousin and her husband who are expecting a baby boy.  She just informed me that she’s five months pregnant and I couldn’t believe it!  I love her like a sister and we NORMALLY share a lot of things, but this girl waited until she was 5 months into the pregnancy to tell me; well she didn’t tell me, she told facebook and she confirmed.  Mind you if I even think there’s a possibility that anything is going on w/me, she’s one of the first person I tell.  That’s her, I would tell you her name but she’s so secretive she may not allow me to see my cousin/nephew…LOL Anyway, congrats to her and Corey, Love yall!

Also Congrats to one of my best friends in the entire world!!!  Myesha Ingram and Bernard Comer, they will be receiving their second daughter on May 19, this Wednesday.  My God baby, Brielle Trinity Comer (the middle name may not be correct but that’s what I’m going to call her).  Also Congrats to April who delivered triplets (yes I said triplets), last week.  This post goes out to you all and all you pregnant folk in the world!  BTW this is totally my cousin’s idea so I’m catering to her pregnant ass!

Getting It In While Pregnant

For my research I relied heavily on my cousin because not only is she pregnant with raging hormones, she’s also a wonderful nurse.  So she’s given me some wonderful tips both medically and personally.  See I don’t just be talking out the side of my neck when I write, I actually do my research.  Ok, Let’s get into it.

Is it safe to have sex during your pregnancy?  Yes, if you’re having a normal pregnancy.  A normal pregnancy is when it’s considered “Low-Risk,” for complications & miscarriages.  Once you’re in the clear (approved by your doctor) feel free to have as much sex as you like.  Now here’s the bad side of that.  A woman’s hormone’s are obviously all over the place during pregnancy.  She may want to have sex mentally but her body is telling her something else.  Or she may become extremely dry or extremely wet, it all varies.

In the beginning stages of a woman’s pregnancy she will be able to have sex as normal in all positions.  It becomes a little more difficult the further along she is because of the huge belly that’s in the way.  The best positions for sex during those times are: woman on top, doggy style, and on the side as the man enters from the back.  Even then you may feel some discomfort, especially when experiencing an orgasm.  When a woman experiences an orgasm her uterus contracts, which makes the baby ball up causing discomfort to the woman.

Here’s an interesting fact my cousin told me.  The doctor actually suggests you have more sex closer toward the end of your pregnancy because sperm has a hormone in it called prostiglands which helps break down the cervix causing it to dilate easier.

When Getting it in During Pregnancy Becomes Harmful

1.When receiving oral sex DO NOT allow your partner to blow air inside of the vagina.  Blowing air can cause an air embolism (a blockage of a blood vessel by an air bubble), which can be potentially fatal for mother and child.

2. Just because you’re pregnant, it does not mean you’re exempt from getting STDs.  Sounds obvious right?  Well plenty of women actually contract STD during pregnancy.  You can pass it on to your child causing blindness or even worse death.  Not to mention the medicines that cure most of the STDs are harmful for the fetus.  Just remain safe!

3. It’s also not a good idea to have sex if you have a history or prone to some of these things.  History of miscarriage, history of pre-term labor (delivering before 37 weeks), vaginal bleeding, discharge or cramps, leakage of amniotic fluid, Placenta Previa (when the placenta is so low it covers the cervix), incompetent cervix (a weak cervix), or carrying multiple children.

Good luck to all expecting mothers, I hope today’s installment of Risque help you get your freak on safely.  Don’t worry the baby will be totally safe, you will not be poking the baby in the eye or any other place because the child is protected by the amniotic sac, the penis never touches the child.

I can’t wait to meet lil Miss Brielle and Mr. CJ!  Auntie loves you already!!!

THE MASTER OF BATING

The manual stimulation of genital organs also known as masturbation, jerking off, rubbing the nub or whatever cleaver name you may have for it.  For some reason people don’t like to talk about or even admit that they masturbate.  Honestly this is a totally natural and human act.  I always say how can you expect someone else to know how to please you if you don’t know how to please yourself.

There are some who have never masturbated ever!  How is that possible?  I have no idea.  I’m also baffled when women say I’ve never had an orgasm.  I go “Oh you’ve never had orgasm during sex?” They say, “No never in life.”  Then I give them the WTF are you talking about look.  I just assumed that everyone got a lil frisky with themselves.

What do you do when you’re horny as hell and have no one to put out the fire?  Stuff a pillow between your legs and call it a night?  How?  It actually amazes me.  You guys know me well enough by now, you know if I can help in anyway when it comes to love, sex and relationships that I’m going to put my two cents in….LOL So here I go.

Let me first say that you shouldn’t feel embarrassed nor ashamed to touch yourself.  This goes out to both men and women.  Masturbation is a way for you to learn your body, to know what buttons to push, pull or squeeze in order to send you on an orgasmic ride.  Not to mention it lowers your blood pressure and relieves stress.  It’s like a two for one deal here, it’s healthy and you get pleasure.

WAYS TO MASTURBATE

WOMEN

There’s no wrong or right way to do it, as long as your outcome is the same.  You just have to figure out what works best for you and your body.  The rubbing of the clit is one of the main ways women masturbate, whether its done by fingers, vibrators or an object (huh object? We’ll get into that in a few).

FINGERS:  Now I believe that your fingers and/or clit should be well lubricated.  I’m not into lubrications, for one I don’t need it and two I don’t believe we should be putting too many things in the area of the vajussy (yes I made up a new word, use it!).  It’s a very sensitive area, that goes for all that whip cream and caramel and ish you can put it on any part of my body except in or around the vajussy.   Anyway so lubrication, you can use lube if you prefer, salvia or your own natural juices.  Not many women use lube in the bottle for masturbation unless they’re inserting something in other areas.  In my opinion salvia and your own natural juices are the best choice.

The lubrication will allow your finger to gently move across your clit which will make it easier to receive stimulation.  Without lubrication you may harm your clit by dry rubbing it.  You can also use your other hand to insert inside of your vajussy causing double pleasure.  It’ll also be a good way to search around for your G-spot.  There’s also another hole you can possibly stimulate while pleasing yourself with your fingers, if you choose to go there.

VIBRATORS/DILDOS:  For my ladies with the toys.  There are all types and becoming more accessible, whenever you can walk in your local drug store and buy one, you know times are changing.  I still suggest lube for this but it really doesn’t matter it just feels better.  Vibrators are simply what they sound like, devices that vibrate.  There are those used to place directly on the clit.  Feel free to move your body against it, it’ll help the sensation.  There are also those that vibrate that you can insert inside you, different shapes and different speeds (you can research more if you’re interested).

OBJECTS: If you don’t have a toy and don’t want to get your hands messy you can use other objects.  What kind you ask?  A pillow, blanket or even the arm of your couch (w/ a blanket over it).  Anything that can cause friction against your clitoris.  Basically you will position yourself over the object and proceed to ride it as if you were riding your man.  You should focus on rubbing your clitoris over the object it will end in a mind blowing orgasm.

Don’t forget to pay attention to your other area of your body, your breast, ass, lips, mouth any other area that may turn you on.  Feel free to taste yourself, yeah I said it.  Again, how can you expect someone else to taste you if you’re unwilling to do it yourself.  You can also try masturbating in front of a mirror, the visual definitely helps the mental.  If you’re missing that special someone record it and send it to him.  Just have fun!

MEN

I mean it’s so easy for you to achieve an orgasm through sex and masturbation, there’s not much I can really say about it.  Honestly there’s not much I want to say because I’m jealous at the fact that you’re always guaranteed an orgasm.  Anyway, let me get on with it.

1: Of course the most easy and most common way is to loosely wrap your hands around your penis and move your hand up and down.  This definitely varies if your uncircumcised or not, you may not go as hard or you may need to go harder.  Lube is a plus for this action such as lubrication, lotion, vaseline or baby oil.  If you like you can also warm the baby oil giving you the sensation of an actual vajussy.  Make sure you have your tissues close by because its such a turn off to see cum stains on a person’s blanket when they didn’t come from the both of you at the same time…..LOL

2: Another way to jerk your meat (as if you need another technique) is to place just the index finger and thumb around the penis about halfway along the penis and repeatedly slide the shaft skin up and down. A variation on this is to place the fingers and thumb on the penis as if playing a flute, and then shuttle them back and forth. Look if you men don’t understand that, I’m not even going to try and explain it any further.  I am talking about your parts not my own.

3: You can also lie face down on a comfortable surface such as a mattress or pillow and rub your lil man against until you explode.  TISSUES! TISSUES! TISSUES!  Don’t get it twisted you men also have plenty of toys.  Like the old school blow up doll or even an artificial vaginal (they are very well high tech now and cost a pretty penny).  You can also massage your testicles while rubbing your monkey.  I’ve read that you can rub your nipples as well, but I gotta tell you if I see you doing that I’ll laugh at you.

There’s also mutual masturbation where you can masturbate for each other or simply masturbate each other.  You can use the same techniques listed about.  If you’ve never masturbated before hopefully now you will and you can start your new life on a pleasurable journey!  Enjoy!

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Have a wonderful weekend!  Love ya!


TOP 10 RISQUE SONGS TO FREAK TO

For today’s post I decided to do something fun.   I’m such a music person (way more than I am a film/tv person, and that’s how I make my living).  Music has always been there for me, it speaks to me in many ways people don’t.  It helps me understand things like love and heartbreak and it helps me understand how a man should make me feel and properly make love to me.  A lot of times when I’m unable to express myself, I can always find a song to do it for me and then have no problem with telling the person to listen to the song.

I didn’t really know what I wanted to write about today until I asked my homegirl Chrissy what she thought I should write about and she suggested me to write about “Sponsorship,” because of Teairra Mari’s new song Sponsor.  Before I hit the topic of “Sponsorship,” aka “Sugar Daddies”  I wanted to do this quick lil count down.  My top 10 Favorite “Sex Songs”.

ENJOY!

10.
Silk—————-> FREAK ME

This song is all about the man letting down his guard in the bedroom and only has one thing on his mind and that’s pleasing the woman. Not to mention the fact that they promise to use their tongue on every inch of your body. It’s sexy as hell to a woman when a man is able to tell her exactly what he wants to do to her and not mention anything about what HE wants HER to do to HIM! If someone said this to me, I expect him to show me a couple of new things w/ his freaky self!

9.
MARVIN GAY—————> LET’S GET IT ON!

This should really be closer to number one in the real world, but this is my world. I love the song and what he’s saying, but it’s not my era so this wouldn’t be the first sex song I put on. I realize without Marvin there will be no R.Kelly, Silk’s or H-Towns. I like this song because he was direct and to the point and didn’t let up even when the woman said no (“or beat around the bush”). He had the power and the sexiness to make anyone change their mind and drop their panties! GET IT MARVIN!

8.
GINUWINE—————-> SO ANXIOUS

Again fellas it’s sexy as hell to let a woman know that you want her and you want her so much you can’t wait! This was Ginuwine in his prime and he was one of the sexiest R&B singers out at this time so he could have been singing about some ponies and we would have loved it (Oh wait he did…LOL). Besides him being sexy, the entire song exuded sex.

7.
BEYONCE ——————>SPEECHLESS

Ladies we all know how it feels to be at home alone and the only thing we can think about is making love to the one we’re with. You’ve been turned on all day and you’re driving yourself crazy with your thoughts. Right before you pull out your vibrator, he finally walks in and puts it on you so good he leaves your ass SPEECHLESS! Beyonce doesn’t make many “Sexing in the Bed” songs but this one should definitely be in your “Sex Play list”

6.
TEVIN CAMPBELL—————->SHH! (BREAK IT DOWN)

For all you guys that have called Tevin “tangy” at one point in your life, I don’t care what you say! This song right here is enough proof for me to let him hit this any and every type of way imaginable. I was young when this song came out but I remember being turned on by it and wanting him to break it down with me (I had an imagination, GOODNESS!). “What’s my name baby?” “Tevin!”

5.
Jodeci—————> Feenin

To know that your sex is so good to a man that he’s willing to give you his money, house and cars is sexy as hell. Women are just like men we like to know if our va jay-jay is good to you and if we’re putting it down correctly. Jodeci did a great job with letting the women in their lives know they were putting it down! What better song to show off your skills or turn your man into a craze sex addict by freaking him to this song! Good Luck ladies, my man has been hooked for a year! LOL

4.
FLOETRY—————> GETTING LATE

This song reminds me of that guy (like an ex, a good friend, or your girl’s man) you want to really have sex with but you know it’ll be a mistake. You also know that the only reason why he’s still there in the late night hours is to have sex with you. Any slow joint Floetry put out is sexy, with their sensual mixture of poetry and R&B singing. You can’t really go wrong with them. It makes me think about my old boo, who loves himself some Floetry.

3.
NE-Yo ———————–> SAY IT

There are sometimes where I like to be in control (well most of the time) but I love it when the man takes control and I’m able to take the back seat. Ne-Yo does exactly that with this song. To be honest with you this is the first song I click on in my “Sex Play List” He makes the woman he’s with tell him what she wants and he’s not going to do it until she says it. And he’s being a total ass hole by knowing exactly what she wants and still aint doing it. Either way, this song turns me on!

2.
JANET JACKSON ——————> WOULD YOU MIND

Janet is my girl! She’s always been a freak and she’s not afraid to say exactly what she wants to say. I gave her props for masturbating on her Velvet Rope album. In this songs she’s telling the man what she want to do to him. “I just want to kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you, make you cum too (as if you guys don’t cum)” This song is hot from the minute it comes on, I get turned on by this song and I’m a female….LOL I just wish more people can be as sexually expressive as Janet and I (we put it in an art form). Poor guy in the video…LOL

1.
R.Kelly —————–> All of Em (LOL)

Seriously I tried to pick just one R. Kelly song for number 1 but I just couldn’t so here’s a video of 12 Play (since you guys know I like to be told what to do). Are you really surprised that he’s number one? I hope not. R. Kelly is the best at making sex songs and no one can top him and I challenge anyone of you to try to think of someone who can make a woman’s panties wetter than R.Kelly can. This man has just as many sales from men as women because men know they better have some R.Kelly on rotation if they plan on getting us in the mood. The Pied Piper of R&B had definitely earned his title.

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The Forbidden Fruit

Forbidden fruit:  Something that is off limits, tempting the human being to want it more.   We all have had things at times that we know we’re not suppose to have because it comes with consequences.  Just like when Eve convinced Adam to eat the forbidden fruit…..and ladies we all know how that turned out.

In the world of sex there’s a new forbidden fruit, and guess what?  We possess it, and men want it. What is this forbidden fruit, you ask?  Why…no other than your ass, booty, derriere, apple bottom, rump, caboose, gluteus maximus did I mention ASS.  No matter what you choose to call it ladies, there are a lot of men who will love to take a dip in the ummmm you know, butt hole.

So what’s the big deal with letting your man sex the “other hole”?  Most of the time we like to blame it on the man.   We say: I don’t know.  He just seems a little suspect to be asking me to do it up the butt. OR just the pure thought of it’s painful, which is understandable.  The truth is ladies that most of us are scared.

Like I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I think everyone should try everything at least once.  I’m not going put all my business out there but I’m sure most of us women have been approached by out men at sometime about anal sex.  I talked to my guy roommate who’s gay.  I asked him what he thought about straight men asking women to enter the “other hole.”  He explained to me in relationships men love to feel like every single part of you belongs to him.  They want to explore every nook & cranny of your body and come up with new ways to please you and themselves.

So Ladies, what do you do when your man approaches you with this question?  Before you channel your inner Whitney Houston and shout out “Hell to da naw” remember: WHAT YOU WON’T DO SOMEONE ELSE WILL.  If this man is someone you really care about & see yourself with long-term then you should take in my advice.  All I ask is that you try ALMOST everything once, if you don’t like it then don’t do it again but at least you tried it.

I’m sure that it’s not that bad *Giggle, Giggle*.  If you’re brave enough to try this freaky sex act here are a couple of tips to help it go smoothly.

1. Better Safe Than Sorry

Remember whether you decide to go raw dawg or use a condom while doing this.  Nothing that goes inside of the anus should go inside of the vagina.  Before switching holes make sure you change the condom and/or wash his penis thoroughly before entering the vagina.  The vagina is very sensitive to bacteria and it can cause infections such as bacteria vaginosis & yeast infection.

2. LUBE ! LUBE! LUBE!

This is self-explanatory.  The more lube you use, the easier it’ll be for the penis to slid in & the more enjoyable the experience will be.  There are all types of lubes ranging from $3 to $15. Or you can get more creative and use things like spit, baby oil, and Vaseline.  If you’re in the shower soap also serves as good lube.

3. Advice from Monique: “Relax all you muscles”

You have to relax your entire body.  Believe it or not the more tense you are the more it’ll hurt making your first experience uncomfortable.  You have to also mentally relax.  So relax ALL YOUR MUSCLES!

4. One Step At a Time

Please by all means before you decide to go through with this, sit down and have a conversation with him.  Let him know that you will be calling all the shots.  He must take it slow, ease his way in inch by inch until he’s fully inside of you.  If you’re working with someone with a huge penis then it may not fully go all the way in and that’s ok because remember this hole is meant to be an exit only door not an enter one.

Enjoy guys!  Tell me how it goes!

Does Size Really Matter?

Men listen up!  I’m about to give you guys the real deal on the size of your penis and if we really care if you’re packing.  Remember this includes the opinions of myself and the women that I’ve spoken to.  Because we do talk men…..Ohhhhh we talk!  I’ve broken down the penis size in three different categories.  Men you know goodness well size matters to you so you know it matters to us!

Peek-A-Boo I think I See You

This is for my brothers (brothers includes all races) with the small penises.  To be honest its a freaking turn off.  To me its a waste of a man.  You better be the best guy in the world, and a pro in oral sex and know how to work the hell out of your lil man.  If she continue to see you after seeing that ummmmm niblet of yours it means that she really does like you and sex might not be that important to her.  If a woman has serious feelings for you she will over look the size of your penis and love you anyway.  But I can’t guarantee that she will not fantasize about being with a man with a larger penis.  My advice for you “short, short, men” is to hold off on the sex…..LOL get the woman to fall in love with you first before you whip it out.  You’ll have a better chance in keeping her.

Middle Class America

My average men who are not too small and not too big.  I think you got it good.  No woman will ever dislike you because of the size of your penis.  She can’t complain about the fact that she can’t feel it and she can’t say you ‘re ripping her insides out.  Here’s a fun fact: If you’re considered average size, you’re bigger than 50% of all men (that means there are a lot of small men in the world).  An average size penis is considered to be any where from 5-7 inches long (when hard) and 5 inches round.  All I ask for is that you know what to do with your average size tool.  I know some of you wish you were a lil larger but just be thankful that you’re not in the above category.

No Thank You I’ll Pass

To me there is a such thing as being too large and if you are too large you can keep right on moving.  Why? 1. I’m afraid and no longer turned on. 2. I have organs inside of me that I want to keep. 3. I know it’s going to hurt!  I think having sex with a man that’s too large can be uncomfortable for both the man and the woman.  He may not be able to fit his entire penis inside and the number of positions are very limited.  It’ll take a lot of sexing to get the woman’s body to mold to his penis.  I suggest you large fellas to take it easy on the lady, ease your way in.  Or, you can always get into the porn industry where 18 inches is welcomed!  I do know women who’ve encounter very large men before and tried to have sex with them but it just didn’t work so this came straight from the horses mouth.


Whatever your size may be, embrace it, love it and take my advice…LOL Oh and if you’re extra small don’t be acting like you’re king ding-a-ling, you’ll only be setting yourself up for embarrassment because we will let you know.  Guys don’t be mad at me after reading this….I still love you!

THE BIG O & HOW TO PLEASE YOUR WOMAN

A good male friend of mine called me today and gave me a wonderful idea for today’s post.  He wanted me to write a post on how to give a woman an ORGASM.  This is a very touchy topic for men because EVERY man wants to be able to please their woman and send them riding on the Big O wave.  They sometimes feel like failures in bed and honestly we sometimes agree with you.  Men it’s not all your fault but most of it is.  There are a lot of factors that can ultimately bring on a woman’s Orgasm.

Did you know that 50-75% of women only receive an orgasm through clitoral stimulation?  Which is good news for you guys because this is one part of the Va Jay-Jay that you can actually see unlike the mythical “G-Spot.”  Here are a couple of things I believe will help a man give a woman an orgasm.

THE WARM UP

Women are like cars and when it comes to sex you must treat us like cars.  On a cold winter’s day you would let your car warm up for a couple of minutes. Why? Because it’ll take the fluids in your car longer to thaw out and start flowing if you didn’t warm it up.  *CLEARS THROAT* If you warm us up with some thoughtful foreplay, we would then in turn be “Turned On” and  our juices will begin to flow (which makes the sex better for both parties).

When I say thoughtful foreplay, I mean take your time.  Introduce your mouth, hands and tongue to her body every single time even if you’ve been dealing with this person for years.  A little rub and a lick just don’t do it for us.

THE MENTAL

This is one of the most important parts of sex and it remains a factor throughout the entire process.  You have to get the woman’s mind right and keep it right.  From the start to the end we need to think that you’re into it and the only thing you care about is getting us to the finish line.  Sounds hard, right?  Well it’s not because we do it all the time.  All that moaning, screaming, and telling you you’re the best that you hear from women (SORRRY LADIES) most of it is for show and to keep you thinking that you’re doing something.  We’ve become so good at it that you have no idea that we’re actually doing it.

You can also keep the mind right by setting the mood right.  Dim the lights, light some candles, throw rose petals over the bed, or role play.  I like to call that mental sex because I can guarantee if you do it right she’ll already be turned on and ready before you even touch her.

THE SEX

First off you don’t always have to be the largest to give the most pleasure.  Honestly if you’re too too LARGE we ain’t messing with you anyway unless our profession is in the porn industry…..LOL And if you’re too small that’s an instant turn off!  You do need to know what to do with what you have.  Your stroke game should be on point.  Be creative when it comes to sex, try new positions other than Missionary, Doggy Style, and Woman on Top.  Doing the same thing every time gets boring and becomes routine, so our mental is already gone because we already know the outcome.

Don’t pump too fast! Why? Because 1. It makes you cum quicker and 2. Most of the time it does nothing for us.  Women will look at you like you’re crazy then go tell their friends about their quick pumper of a boyfriend.  You’ll know if you’re doing the right stroke for your lady.  Just listen to her moans, look at her face and notice her body actions.  If you think you have the right stroke in the right position and it seems like she’s on the verge of coming just keep doing what you’re doing because if you change it up she could possibly loose that feeling and you’ll have to start all over again 😦

If you have no idea if you’re doing the right thing, don’t be afraid to ask her.  Talk to her during sex, let her know how it feels, how you feel and what you want her to do.  Don’t be shy.  The best position for a woman to receive an orgasm is having her on top because she’s able to regulate the depth of penetration of the penis and the rate of thrusting.

Don’t forget that 50-75% of women only come off of clitoral stimulation, so during sex you can gently massage her clit or use a vibrating toy.

THE END

If some how after all this you still haven’t made her come, I suggest you learn how to properly give oral sex and become a pro at it.  If you become really good at it I don’t see how she can’t come.  It’s ok to use toys, it means less work for you and we don’t mind showing you how to use them on us….because we know.

I hope this help a couple of guys out.  Let me also add that some women don’t care if they don’t receive an orgasm every time.  If they love the man and he makes her feel good during sex that’s all that matters.  Some women get off by pleasing their man.  Some women even fake an orgasm just to make their man feel good (others fake it just because they want it to be over…LOL)  Good luck guys!

Leave a comment I’m interested in what you have to say about this one.

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