Just yesterday in the office I was asked by a woman do I ever approach men.  Just a couple of days before that a man asked me the same exact question.  So it’s only natural that I write about this topic.  First and foremost let me put this out there for everyone….I R.L. WYNDER HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH APPROACHING A MAN.  I’ve always been a go-getter with anything in life, if it’s something or someone I want I will go after it.  A lot of times I catch men off guard and they have no idea how to react, I either turn them totally off or completely on, no in between.

From all of the noes I’ve heard (yes people have turned the magnificent R.L down) you would think it’ll stop me from approaching men; I wouldn’t be R.L. if I do that.  When a man is taken aback just because I approached them then they’re not strong or should I say man enough to be with me any way.  It’s honestly no love lost on my end, besides closed mouths don’t get fed.  I understand, it takes a very secure man to be ok with the fact that a woman just approached him and did “his job.”  I appreciate those secure men.

There are two reasons and two reason only why women don’t approach men.  1. They feel that they’re too good to approach a man.  She believes if a man wants her then he should walk his happy ass across the room and approach her.  AND 2. She’s just simply afraid of rejection.  Reaching back to #1, she assumes if he didn’t come and approach her then he must not want her.  Which then puts her in a position to get rejected if she decides to approach him.

I believe it’s somewhat the same way when it comes to guys, except with a little twist.  The man may not feel that he’s worthy or good enough for the woman so he avoids the embarrassment and settles on dreaming about being with the woman instead of actually saying hello.

People if we live our lives waiting on things or people to come to us, we’ll be waiting for  long time.  Yeah, yeah I’ve heard of “Good things come to those who wait,” but why wait if you can be in control of the situation sometimes.  Only a fool would let an opportunity slip from under them.  Everyone that I look up to in my profession as a writer or a producer have all been proactive.  Everyone I know who’s in a successful relationship and happy have all been proactive within their relationship from the beginning to the end.

I say all this to say, if it’s someone you want, don’t wait for them to approach you because if you wait too long he/she may approach someone else or someone else with more guts than you may approach them.  I always say this to my friends and to myself when I become hesitant to ask someone something…..the worst thing that can happen is that they say NO.  You’re not going to die from that no, you’re not going to have a heart attach from that no.  Your ego may be a little bruised, other than that your day will continue as normal.  It’s time to step out of your comfort zone, take it from me, I’ve always lived outside of my comfort zone.

Until next time…….

Peace, Love & Freakiness

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  • Comments (3)
    • SeriousBill
    • March 26th, 2013

    i would love very much for a woman to approach me for a change, instead of chasing them. but with so many women nowadays playing very hard to get with their attitude problem, it makes it very difficult for us serious men to approach the one that we really would like to meet.

    • dave
    • March 27th, 2012

    Never taboo! I would respect and honor any woman who approached me, and take her out for dinner, if she wanted to go!

  1. No it’s not taboo for a woman to ask a man out.The woman has the right to ask for what she wants.Only fair the woman can speak up for what she wants.

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