Archive for June, 2011

Single Ladies Edition: No Licky, Licky; Eff The Sticky, Sticky

 

I know most of you have seen VH1’s show Single Ladies, created by Queen Latifah and Stacy A. Littlejohn.  If you haven’t, what rock have you been under?  I put the R.L. Wynder stamp of approval on this show.  African-Americans have very selective scripted shows we can choose from on TV now-a-days and this has the potential to be a great show!  With that said………on with today’s post.

 In the latest episode love starved Val (Stacey Dash) finally meets the man of her dreams and is on cloud 9 when she finds out he’s moving to Atlanta.  He’s handsome, educated and has a fruitful career as a chef.  What could possibly be wrong with him?  Nothing, right?  Wrong.  Val discovered that Mr. Chef doesn’t dine on Southern Cuisine and when asked why, he replied something to the likes of what’s in his pants is enough for women and they don’t need anything else. HA!!! That was the funniest joke I heard all night.  He also expected Val to give him oral because it’s “more natural” for women to give men head (another funny joke).  

 Like any sane woman, Val proceeded to kick him out of her house and end their fresh blossoming relationship.  Today’s questions (1 for the ladies and 1 for the men)…..LADIES: Is it a deal breaker for you if a man refuses to give oral sex?  MEN: How many of you really believe that women should give oral and not be on the receiving end?

 As a woman I can thankfully say since being an adult and being mature enough to handle sex and everything that comes along with it that I’ve never had to worry about a man not dining on my southern cuisine.  I can tell you, if I ever encounter someone who doesn’t do it, it’ll definitely be a turn off.  Since a young age, before I ever had sex I used to be an avid listener to Lil Kim and she would always talk about not letting a man fuck her without eating her out (I know that was blunt).  So I always took her advice and I’ll just like to say, thank you Lil Kim for the best advice ever!  So ladies if you feel the same way, I advise you to lay it out in the beginning and if he tells you he doesn’t do “those types of activities,” then you kick him to the curb like Val did. 

 I’ve said this before, sex is a huge factor in a lot of relationships.  Men must remember that the majority of women in the world do NOT I repeat DO NOT receive their orgasms vaginally.  The majority of us receive our orgasms through clitoral stimulation.  You men are going to cum regardless if we give you head or not, we are not always guaranteed a nut.  So for us to give you head, consider it a bonus.  You should be giving us head every time because that may be the only way some of us can get ours in, so STOP being selfish. 

 For all of you men who don’t give oral, get a grip and dive into it!  BUT every vagina does not need or deserved to be orally pleased.  If she’s a hoe, jumpoff, or not your main girl definitely think about it.  I always promote safe sex, so don’t be afraid to ask the woman to go with you to the doctor so both of you can get checked out together before dining.  There are also ways you can protect yourselves by giving oral with a dental dam or saran wrap (that’s wack so go get tested!).  Ladies we can protect ourselves by having the men wear condoms. 

 If you’re in a relationship with someone I believe the two people deserve to have the best sex life possible.  Don’t cheat the other one from an orgasm.  You should want to please your partner because ultimately he or she is fucking you to be pleased by you if they have to please themselves they’ll be better off masturbating or worse finding someone else to do it.  So step your game up!

I want to hear from you, so PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT!

 LOVE, PEACE AND FREAKINESS

 R.L. WYNDER

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It’s My Body And I Can Dress How I Want! (SLUTWALK)

On April 3 (yeah I know I’m a little late), Toronto police officer Michael Sanguinetti suggested to a room full of college students at York University that “women should avoid dressing like sluts,” in order to not be victimized.  Sanguinetti’s ignorant and barbaric comments started an outpour of demonstrations from women across the world called the SlutWalk.  Women of all ages are coming together, dressed provocatively to show the world that women should be able to wear whatever they want and not have to worry about getting harassed or worse raped. 

 I totally agree with all of these women and I’m proud of them, for standing up for our rights.  When I go out I’m not dressed any differently from Beyonce, Rihanna, or Kim Khardasian.  The world looks at them as fashionable but they may see me as someone who’s asking for verbal or physical abuse.  I guess I should hire my own Julius (Beyonce’s bodyguard) whenever I go out. 

 Since the beginning of time women have been ruled and degraded by men. Telling us what to wear, when to talk, how to act and how many steps we should take behind them.  There’s only one reason for this, because men are physically stronger than women, if it wasn’t for that one reason a lot more men would have less to say. 

Today women are stronger, smarter, and more confident and some men seem to have a problem with that.  They seem to forget that we no longer have to do as they say and more importantly that their mom is a woman.  I can’t quite comprehend why men seem to think it’s ok to disrespect a woman.  This is 2011 how long will we continue to bring up our past and deal with issues from the 50s, 60s and 70s. 

 Men I want you to understand, a lot of times your opinion means a lot to us.  If you think a woman is carrying her self like a slut, go up to her and tell her in a nice way.  Don’t call her a bitch or a hoe because 9 times out of 10 if a woman is promiscuous it’s because of a man.  Its, because they were mistreated by a man, didn’t have a father, or was heartbroken.  Real men do your duty and help a sister out, you don’t want to be the fuel to her fire that sets her over the edge.   

Freedom Of Dress Does not Mean You Have The Freedom To Disrespect!

 

It’s about that time again, the sun is out, the temperature is high, we ladies are showing a little more skin and the hounds are out.  The summer time is my favorite season of all because I love showing off my sexy legs and well kept body, but I must admit that it’s also the most annoying season for me as well. 

 It’s so annoying because of the thirsty men of all ages who act like they’ve never seen a woman let alone ever had sex before.  So, I just want to clear some things up for you men and how you should conduct yourselves in front of women during the Summer.  If you read the following tips you’ll definitely save yourself a few curse outs and possibly slaps this Summer.

 1.  Just because a female has on very revealing clothes, does not mean you have the right to disrespect her.  As a woman who wears short shorts, tight skirts and dresses (all in good taste), I’ve heard it all.  I carry myself like a lady and I deserve to be treated like a lady no matter what I have on.   I hear so many men say “If she don’t want nobody talking to her she shouldn’t have it on?”  A woman should be able to wear what she wants to wear without being verbally abused every time she walks out of her house?  So men you DO NOT get a free pass to say whatever you want to a woman because of the way she dresses. 

 2.  If you really must say something to a woman, be respectful!  Men there are ways to speak to a woman, if what she’s wearing is just driving you to say something to her you might not want to start off by yelling at her “Yo ma, baby girl, boo, sexy, bitch or hoe” or try to get her attention by making noises.  First off that’s the way you call out to an animal and any woman who answers to a cat call probably won’t demand much respect from you so you won’t have to worry too much about this.  Try taking a note from Luther Vandross, walk up to the young lady and say “Excuse me miss, what’s your name?”  Would you want someone to call your mother out of her name?

 3.  Try admiring with a closed mouth.  Men you have the power to bring out any woman’s insecurities.  Before a woman walks out of her house she feels great, full of confidence and her face carries a smile.  But before she gets to her destination her feelings can drastically change and all because of you.  She can feel dirty, powerless, disrespected and her smile turns into a mean ill grill because of your choice of words.  To hear “Baby that ass is fat,” “I want to hit that.” “I want to put my dick in you,” doesn’t make the majority of women feel good.  Those aren’t compliments. If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything.

 When you see a woman walking down the street with a mean look on her face, its because she’s trying to avoid ignorant comments, she’s hoping you can read her evil face and just leave her alone.  There’s a perfect short film called Shades of Brooklyn starring Xosha Roquemore (Joanne from Precious) that describes exactly how men make women feel.  You can catch it on HBO or you can Youtube it.  Check it out. 

 Men if you consider those three tips you may have a chance of catching you a summer bunny.  How would you feel if women treated you like a piece of meat, it may sound like a dream come true to you but I can guarantee you, you’ll get tired of it quick.  It’s degrading and it’s just not right.  Allow the lady to express herself through fashion and if you must say something, give her a nice compliment.  There are so many places in the world with man made laws giving restrictions on what women can wear.  This is one place where women can dress freely without being beaten or jailed.  Please allow us to be comfortable with our freedom of expression through clothes.   

 Stay tune for part two about the Slut Walk, where women are standing up because of police officers suggesting that in order to avoid rape a woman shouldn’t dress like a slut because you’re asking to be raped.  That has me heated and it deserves to be a write up of its own.