Today’s post is inspired by Chris Brown.  I’ve always been a fan of this man, I secretly wanted him when he was underage (shhh, I know I’m not the only one).  Anyway we all know the trouble Chris has been in over the past two years. In no way do I condone domestic violence but I do understand that sometimes women push men to do certain things, those men should be man enough to walk away or restrain themselves.  The only problem with that was that Chris wasn’t a man when he did those things he was still a child.  I believe he suffered enough in his personal life as well as his career and I honestly believed he learned his lesson.  Even though a good majority of the world has forgiven Chris there’re still people in the media and the world who don’t forgive him.  So the question is:  When is it ok to forgive?

I like to consider myself a realist, I understand that things in the world are not perfect and neither are people.  I’m also a believer in second chances.  I know we’ve all done things we were truly sorry for and we weren’t forgiven and we just couldn’t understand why the other party wouldn’t forgive us, especially in relationships.  I know I’ve forgiven people for things that seemed horrible to me at the time but when I ask for forgiveness for something as small as not calling the man seems to not be able to forgive. It is a known fact that men have a tougher time forgiving women than women forgiving men (another blog another day).

Why is it so hard for some people to forgive?  In relationships people make mistakes and I believe if the two people involved are serious about each other they should learn how to forgive one another so that they’ll be able to grow as one.  In the past if a man ever did me wrong, I forgave him but I also left him and then I realized I can’t keep doing this, because if I do, I’ll end up alone.  Humans make mistakes and I’m never going to find any one who aint gonna make a mistake, including myself.  Jesus died for our sins, our  mistakes and our wrong doing……If his father forgave those who did him wrong why can’t we forgive one another for simple things.

Once a person is mature enough to set aside their differences and realize the most important thing is the love in the relationship then he or she will begin to be able to forgive.  In no way am I saying to just let everything slide, we just have to pick and choose our battles.  Now if Rihanna happens to take Chris Brown back I’ll believe she’ll be making a huge mistake but I do not judge her for forgiving him.

Forgiving someone does not mean you have to become their best friend, it’s just another notch under your growth belt.   It’ll also help you feel better and allow you to get over the situation quicker.  It takes a lot of energy to hate someone, that energy can be used toward something more positive.  I challenge you to forgive the next person who does something you disagree with.  Place yourself in their shoes, ask yourself would you want to be forgiven for that situation.  Would you want a constant reminder of what you did years ago after you finally forgave yourself?  Watching Chris Brown try so hard to gain the public’s forgiveness and me being in situations where I pleaded for forgiveness, it’s not a good feeling.  Just think about that the next time you’re not willing to forgive a person or when you actually need forgiveness.

Love, Peace & Freakiness!!!

R.L. Wynder


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  • Comments (1)
    • Corey
    • March 29th, 2011

    It’s all about maturity. People have to get to the level of knowing that holding onto all that anger and bitterness to someone is doing them more harm than good. Its ok to forgive but you don’t have to forget. You don’t wamt to let the same thing keep happening to you but things are gonna happen and maturity has a lot to do with outcome of situations.

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