Archive for March, 2011

DO I LOOK LIKE I WANT YOU?

 

Yes, this is exactly what it sounds like and I don’t care what yall think.  You can call it being conceited but I call it being honest.  Today I’m speaking for the ladies because I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

Today, I figured out the number reason, why men curse out women.  It’s not because we get smart with them & it’s not because we try and get buck with them.  It’s all because their ego can’t handle a simple rejection & 90% of the time the man has no business at all trying to holla at the female anyway.  What do I mean?  Let me explain myself, in layman’s term.

If you a broke down looking dude, with no ambition, who looks a mess and is basically not my type then you have NO BUSINESS trying to holla at me.  I’m not the best looking person in the world but I’m no ugly duckling and I never hit the streets ever looking a mess.  So I wonder what makes someone who is “not on my level” try to even holla at me.  I’m not just speaking of looks, I’m also speaking of ambition.  I don’t care how good you look if you on the corner all day, ain’t no way you and I can possibly have anything.  And men don’t act like you don’t know when a woman is out of your league.

But I must admit, you men have a lot of heart and guts; one would think you could deal with rejection a little better.  I damn near got cursed out by a group of guys today because I didn’t respond to the wonderful greeting of “Yo, What up Ma?”  I ignore crap like that, take a note from Luther Vandross and try, “Excuse me miss.”

I’m going to play devil’s advocate just for a second because what if I believe that I’m actually on a higher level than what I’m actually on.  That means that I need to be brought down just a little bit and maybe these horrible men are actually on my level.  Honestly men who I believe are on my level are not the type to be hollering at you on the streets and if they do, they do it in a very respectful way.

So men before you try and holla at a female ask yourself this one question: Do I look like her type?  If you have to think about it, then she’s probably not.  And PLEASE PLEASE find a new method when it comes to hollering at women.  We hate the “Yo, Ma,” “Hey Baby,” “Hey Sexy.” Scratch that shit and try something new.  And stop waiting for the woman to pass you before you speak because we all know that you want to see how fat the ass is before you holla.  Women, revaluate the level you think you on because some of us may not be as high as we think we are.

 

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I’M NOT PERFECT, PLEASE FORGIVE ME!

Today’s post is inspired by Chris Brown.  I’ve always been a fan of this man, I secretly wanted him when he was underage (shhh, I know I’m not the only one).  Anyway we all know the trouble Chris has been in over the past two years. In no way do I condone domestic violence but I do understand that sometimes women push men to do certain things, those men should be man enough to walk away or restrain themselves.  The only problem with that was that Chris wasn’t a man when he did those things he was still a child.  I believe he suffered enough in his personal life as well as his career and I honestly believed he learned his lesson.  Even though a good majority of the world has forgiven Chris there’re still people in the media and the world who don’t forgive him.  So the question is:  When is it ok to forgive?

I like to consider myself a realist, I understand that things in the world are not perfect and neither are people.  I’m also a believer in second chances.  I know we’ve all done things we were truly sorry for and we weren’t forgiven and we just couldn’t understand why the other party wouldn’t forgive us, especially in relationships.  I know I’ve forgiven people for things that seemed horrible to me at the time but when I ask for forgiveness for something as small as not calling the man seems to not be able to forgive. It is a known fact that men have a tougher time forgiving women than women forgiving men (another blog another day).

Why is it so hard for some people to forgive?  In relationships people make mistakes and I believe if the two people involved are serious about each other they should learn how to forgive one another so that they’ll be able to grow as one.  In the past if a man ever did me wrong, I forgave him but I also left him and then I realized I can’t keep doing this, because if I do, I’ll end up alone.  Humans make mistakes and I’m never going to find any one who aint gonna make a mistake, including myself.  Jesus died for our sins, our  mistakes and our wrong doing……If his father forgave those who did him wrong why can’t we forgive one another for simple things.

Once a person is mature enough to set aside their differences and realize the most important thing is the love in the relationship then he or she will begin to be able to forgive.  In no way am I saying to just let everything slide, we just have to pick and choose our battles.  Now if Rihanna happens to take Chris Brown back I’ll believe she’ll be making a huge mistake but I do not judge her for forgiving him.

Forgiving someone does not mean you have to become their best friend, it’s just another notch under your growth belt.   It’ll also help you feel better and allow you to get over the situation quicker.  It takes a lot of energy to hate someone, that energy can be used toward something more positive.  I challenge you to forgive the next person who does something you disagree with.  Place yourself in their shoes, ask yourself would you want to be forgiven for that situation.  Would you want a constant reminder of what you did years ago after you finally forgave yourself?  Watching Chris Brown try so hard to gain the public’s forgiveness and me being in situations where I pleaded for forgiveness, it’s not a good feeling.  Just think about that the next time you’re not willing to forgive a person or when you actually need forgiveness.

Love, Peace & Freakiness!!!

R.L. Wynder

 

YOUR MAN IS IN LOVE WITH HIS MAMA, NOT YOU!

I’ve been asking men this question for as long as I can remember and no one has really given me a straight answer.  Just last week I was watching something (I can’t recall, but probably some reality tv show) and like an epiphany the answer hits me.  What’s that question you ask?  WHY THE HELL DO MEN WIFE CRAZY ASS WOMEN, HOES & JUMP OFFS?

Now I consider myself an easy going, understandable person when it comes to relationships.  I don’t have any issues with my man hanging with his boys, giving him space, leaving him alone during his “sports time.”  If you include my flyness, comedic skills, ambition in life and an alright attitude (lol) I could be any man’s perfect woman.

Almost every woman I know that’s married, is the type that will bust up in the club with her night clothes on and will pull your ass out.  She will call you every 20 minutes just to check in on you.  I started to ask myself…..Is that how I have to be in order for a man to pop the question to me?  If it is I’ll pass because that’s not a part of my character, I like to live my life as stress free as possible.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done a couple of questionable things but all within reason.

So, whatever program I was watching made me realize that, that man was only with that crazy ass woman because that woman reminded him so much of his mama. Sounds crazy but hear me out.  People date and deal with those they know and who they’re more comfortable with.  The closest woman to any man is their mother and if you grew up in a house like mine, my mother screamed on me when I was out of line, she would whoop my tail in the grocery store, she would put me in check no matter the circumstances.  If that’s the only type of woman a man knows then who else is he supposed to be with?

I used to be in love with a man who was in love with another woman.  This other woman put him through hell but that’s who he wanted because that’s who is mom was.  I always hear that women with “daddy issues” tend to get a man like their father and I believe it’s the same for men.   That sucks for good women like myself, but I tell you what I will die a single woman if a man expects me to constantly act out of character, I can’t and I won’t do it.

So to all of my Karrine Steffans, Evelyns, Kendras, & other hoes with crazy characteristics…..I applaud you to a certain extent.  I’m taking notes and I guess I need to find a man who I share similar characteristics with their mom…..LOL (J/P, I think that’s weird as shit, the Oedipus complex.)

To all of you men who choose the smuts over the real women…..go play in some traffic.  Why would anyone choose to deal with bullshit everyday? And to my good women, don’t let a man bring you out of character, if it’s not you then don’t pretend he should love you for you and you deserve to wait for that special person.

 

YOU HAVE A GIRL, I HAVE A MAN…..WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

I love when I can write about personal things and share them with you because I know some of yall be feeling me on these issues.  Today I need your advice, I’m dealing with something very real at this moment and I can’t get IT or rather HIM off my mind.

Here’s the situation, I recently came across this handsome guy with a banging body.  His physical appearance just gave me reasons to flirt with him (at this point I didn’t have any intentions what so ever with him).  We have the opportunity to spend more time together and I realized this guy is funny as hell and I love me a funny person so that just upgraded the flirting to another level.  It honestly felt like we both knew each other longer than we actually did.

Whenever I want something in life I at least attempt it and he was no different.  I felt like I had the ok to express my want for him even though I made my actions very clear (he was flirting too, don’t get it twisted). I expressed it and then BOOM he hits me with the last thing I wanted to hear,…….you guessed it “I have a girlfriend and I’m trying this faithful thing out.”

I’m no hater, I’m not a home wrecker and I do NOT get off by the challenge of making a man want me, especially when he’s trying to be a good guy.  I’ve been cheated on before and I definitely don’t want to be the other girl so I respect his wishes.  So I have no choice but to leave it alone, out of respect for myself, him and his relationship oh yeah and my relationship.  Neither one of us mentioned the fact we had boy/girl friend until we thought it might could have gone to another level (Honestly I only mentioned mine because he mentioned his and hoped it might have made a little of a difference).

So what do I do now?  A couple of days have passed by and I’m still thinking about his chiseled out body and being reminded of his sense of humor all the time.  I rarely want people to this extent and I’m not used to not getting who I want but as a respectable woman I can’t push up on a man who wants to be good for whoever he’s with. BUT I STILL WANT HIM…….WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?