Hi guys and welcome back to my second installment of the Art Imitates Life Series.  Today’s inspiration comes from the movie Something New, starring Sanaa Lathan and Simon Baker.  If you’ve been with me since the beginning of this blog I’m sure you’ll recall my first blog Something New, if not you can check it out here.  I decided to do a part II to tackle the actual issue of interracial dating first hand.  The first blog was about my something new, dating an older man so I decided to watch the movie again to put it in perspective for everyone.

I’m sure most of you have seen it and right off the bat it reminded me of the 1967 film Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner starring Sidney Poitier but in reverse.  Sanaa’s character Kenya was the one from a wealthy family while her love interest Brian was a hard working landscaper who happened to be white.  Kenya’s friend decides to hook her up on a blind date which was immediately ended as soon as she discovered he was white.  Kenya leaves Starbucks leaving Brian long behind her, or that’s what she thought until she hires a landscaper who turns out to be him.  Through out the many weeks Brian spent at her house working on her back yard, she finally falls for him until he starts asking questions about her weave (LOL, that was the funniest scene ever).  She overreacts and kicks him out, begins dating a black man (that fine Blair Underwood) until she realizes she’s not happy with the successful, handsome and probably hung black man.  Because that’s not who her heart wanted, her heart wanted Brian, the white man she was too embarrassed to be with, the one her mom didn’t accept.  We all know what happens, she ends up following her heart to be Brian.

That was a really short version of the movie but through out it Kenya dealt with her own issues as well as society’s issues and a lot of times when people are faced with those dilemmas society usually wins and that’s not fair to yourself.  Now I’ve never personally dated outside of my race but I don’t have anything against it.  Maybe society has secretly hypnotized me to believe that I’m supposed to be with a black man, I don’t know.  I do find other races attractive but I’ve never ventured outside of my race and I believe that more men venture outside of their race than women.  Why?  Because for men to be with someone outside of their race it becomes exotic, it’s a fantasy, it’s something out of the norm to them that they want to conquer.  Men also have a lot to look at, they can see the size of her breast, her ass, her face, her hair, sometimes even the size of her vajussy that makes them want to be with a woman.  When women look at men we see his face, arms, sometimes chest.  We can’t see the real money maker which is in his pants, we can’t see his penis to be like yeah he can get it.  We have to wait to come say hi, meet and greet before we find out what’s in the pants to make us instantly say yes he can get it, but you men can stand from across the room and say yes I’ll fuck her.  Let’s be real, a man is only interested in a woman that he wants to fuck.  The only time a woman can look at a man from across the room and say I’ll fuck him is if he’s fine as hell.  So it’s easier for a man to date outside their race, they don’t see race they see ass.

Interracial dating has been a serious issue for as long as many of you can remember and that’s because racism is still very much alive.  I’ll tell you this because I’m always honest with you all, the only time I’ve ever felt some type of way about interracial dating is when it’s a man that I could possibly be interested in.  If you’re ugly and not my type I don’t give a crap who you’re with, but I don’t hate and I say to each it’s own.  She just got to him before I did, good for you! LOL.  This is what does anger me, when I come across black men who say and believe “I don’t date black women because they don’t know how to treat a man like a white woman does.”  That seriously angers me because you’re putting all of us in a box, we all aren’t the same.  It’s the type of women you’ve attracted that don’t know how to treat a man, get a different type of black woman and I guarantee you that black woman will treat you good.

Whoever you decide to be with no matter race, sex, or age you have to do what makes YOU happy because you know what, when you go home and lay down in your bed there’s only one person laying beside you not the entire world.  You must learn how to be comfortable with your decision and not allow others to dictate how you feel or what you should do.  Your happiness should be the only thing that’s important to you.  For a couple of months I was embarrassed to be with a 46 year old man, but that man is fine, he treats me good and he makes me happy so what the hell was I embarrassed for?

If you’re not comfortable with it, believe me the relationship will not work.  I know plenty of interracial couples who’s relationships ended just because of the looks people gave them, the whispers they’ve heard, the junk their friends were talking.  Like I told you before don’t let other people in your relationship, it’s just you and partner.  Maybe you don’t need to be in an interracial relationship if you can’t handle the pressures that come along with it, because people are going to talk (it may not be right but it’s going to happen).  Love should be enough, the love you have for someone should be way stronger than some outside talk.  If you let something as small as that dictate your relationship than you should stick with your own race.

For those of you who throw out the outlandish comments and are advocates for hate.  Go get a life, find something constructive to do and leave them alone.  If its something you seriously, seriously hate to see, do me a favor……just think about the love of your life (no matter what color) and imagine if the world didn’t want you to be together and said every hurtful thing possible to break you up and you fell into it.  Wouldn’t you be sad, upset and hurt?  Why would you want anyone else to feel your pain?  It always helps when you place your feet in the other person’s shoes, if the world thought that way we would have peace but unfortunately it doesn’t.

Good luck to all my interracial couples out there!  Keep your head up!

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Love, Peace and Freakiness!

R.L. Wynder

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  • Comments (1)
    • Joeproz
    • September 8th, 2010

    Ronica…you do such a great job relating stuff to real life. Not many people can put things into perspective like you can! I am a white male. I am attracted to black women. I have had two serious relationships with black women. And we did experience hatred from people. My family was open, loving and welcomed them both into the family. But her family on the other hand….didnt like her to be with a white man. It was actually her older relatives…her parents were ok. But it eventually came between us. I also date white women. But I am not sure what it is…but something attracts me to a black woman…and attracts them to me. Thanks for the great blog and I wish people could open their eyes and see if two people are happy and in love….that is all that matters and shouldnt try to seperate them!

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