Archive for May, 2010

Getting It In While Pregnant

Today’s post may be a little unusual for some but as a writer my job is to cater to all and to make all happy.  First off I would like to say congratulations to my wonderful cousin and her husband who are expecting a baby boy.  She just informed me that she’s five months pregnant and I couldn’t believe it!  I love her like a sister and we NORMALLY share a lot of things, but this girl waited until she was 5 months into the pregnancy to tell me; well she didn’t tell me, she told facebook and she confirmed.  Mind you if I even think there’s a possibility that anything is going on w/me, she’s one of the first person I tell.  That’s her, I would tell you her name but she’s so secretive she may not allow me to see my cousin/nephew…LOL Anyway, congrats to her and Corey, Love yall!

Also Congrats to one of my best friends in the entire world!!!  Myesha Ingram and Bernard Comer, they will be receiving their second daughter on May 19, this Wednesday.  My God baby, Brielle Trinity Comer (the middle name may not be correct but that’s what I’m going to call her).  Also Congrats to April who delivered triplets (yes I said triplets), last week.  This post goes out to you all and all you pregnant folk in the world!  BTW this is totally my cousin’s idea so I’m catering to her pregnant ass!

Getting It In While Pregnant

For my research I relied heavily on my cousin because not only is she pregnant with raging hormones, she’s also a wonderful nurse.  So she’s given me some wonderful tips both medically and personally.  See I don’t just be talking out the side of my neck when I write, I actually do my research.  Ok, Let’s get into it.

Is it safe to have sex during your pregnancy?  Yes, if you’re having a normal pregnancy.  A normal pregnancy is when it’s considered “Low-Risk,” for complications & miscarriages.  Once you’re in the clear (approved by your doctor) feel free to have as much sex as you like.  Now here’s the bad side of that.  A woman’s hormone’s are obviously all over the place during pregnancy.  She may want to have sex mentally but her body is telling her something else.  Or she may become extremely dry or extremely wet, it all varies.

In the beginning stages of a woman’s pregnancy she will be able to have sex as normal in all positions.  It becomes a little more difficult the further along she is because of the huge belly that’s in the way.  The best positions for sex during those times are: woman on top, doggy style, and on the side as the man enters from the back.  Even then you may feel some discomfort, especially when experiencing an orgasm.  When a woman experiences an orgasm her uterus contracts, which makes the baby ball up causing discomfort to the woman.

Here’s an interesting fact my cousin told me.  The doctor actually suggests you have more sex closer toward the end of your pregnancy because sperm has a hormone in it called prostiglands which helps break down the cervix causing it to dilate easier.

When Getting it in During Pregnancy Becomes Harmful

1.When receiving oral sex DO NOT allow your partner to blow air inside of the vagina.  Blowing air can cause an air embolism (a blockage of a blood vessel by an air bubble), which can be potentially fatal for mother and child.

2. Just because you’re pregnant, it does not mean you’re exempt from getting STDs.  Sounds obvious right?  Well plenty of women actually contract STD during pregnancy.  You can pass it on to your child causing blindness or even worse death.  Not to mention the medicines that cure most of the STDs are harmful for the fetus.  Just remain safe!

3. It’s also not a good idea to have sex if you have a history or prone to some of these things.  History of miscarriage, history of pre-term labor (delivering before 37 weeks), vaginal bleeding, discharge or cramps, leakage of amniotic fluid, Placenta Previa (when the placenta is so low it covers the cervix), incompetent cervix (a weak cervix), or carrying multiple children.

Good luck to all expecting mothers, I hope today’s installment of Risque help you get your freak on safely.  Don’t worry the baby will be totally safe, you will not be poking the baby in the eye or any other place because the child is protected by the amniotic sac, the penis never touches the child.

I can’t wait to meet lil Miss Brielle and Mr. CJ!  Auntie loves you already!!!



The manual stimulation of genital organs also known as masturbation, jerking off, rubbing the nub or whatever cleaver name you may have for it.  For some reason people don’t like to talk about or even admit that they masturbate.  Honestly this is a totally natural and human act.  I always say how can you expect someone else to know how to please you if you don’t know how to please yourself.

There are some who have never masturbated ever!  How is that possible?  I have no idea.  I’m also baffled when women say I’ve never had an orgasm.  I go “Oh you’ve never had orgasm during sex?” They say, “No never in life.”  Then I give them the WTF are you talking about look.  I just assumed that everyone got a lil frisky with themselves.

What do you do when you’re horny as hell and have no one to put out the fire?  Stuff a pillow between your legs and call it a night?  How?  It actually amazes me.  You guys know me well enough by now, you know if I can help in anyway when it comes to love, sex and relationships that I’m going to put my two cents in….LOL So here I go.

Let me first say that you shouldn’t feel embarrassed nor ashamed to touch yourself.  This goes out to both men and women.  Masturbation is a way for you to learn your body, to know what buttons to push, pull or squeeze in order to send you on an orgasmic ride.  Not to mention it lowers your blood pressure and relieves stress.  It’s like a two for one deal here, it’s healthy and you get pleasure.



There’s no wrong or right way to do it, as long as your outcome is the same.  You just have to figure out what works best for you and your body.  The rubbing of the clit is one of the main ways women masturbate, whether its done by fingers, vibrators or an object (huh object? We’ll get into that in a few).

FINGERS:  Now I believe that your fingers and/or clit should be well lubricated.  I’m not into lubrications, for one I don’t need it and two I don’t believe we should be putting too many things in the area of the vajussy (yes I made up a new word, use it!).  It’s a very sensitive area, that goes for all that whip cream and caramel and ish you can put it on any part of my body except in or around the vajussy.   Anyway so lubrication, you can use lube if you prefer, salvia or your own natural juices.  Not many women use lube in the bottle for masturbation unless they’re inserting something in other areas.  In my opinion salvia and your own natural juices are the best choice.

The lubrication will allow your finger to gently move across your clit which will make it easier to receive stimulation.  Without lubrication you may harm your clit by dry rubbing it.  You can also use your other hand to insert inside of your vajussy causing double pleasure.  It’ll also be a good way to search around for your G-spot.  There’s also another hole you can possibly stimulate while pleasing yourself with your fingers, if you choose to go there.

VIBRATORS/DILDOS:  For my ladies with the toys.  There are all types and becoming more accessible, whenever you can walk in your local drug store and buy one, you know times are changing.  I still suggest lube for this but it really doesn’t matter it just feels better.  Vibrators are simply what they sound like, devices that vibrate.  There are those used to place directly on the clit.  Feel free to move your body against it, it’ll help the sensation.  There are also those that vibrate that you can insert inside you, different shapes and different speeds (you can research more if you’re interested).

OBJECTS: If you don’t have a toy and don’t want to get your hands messy you can use other objects.  What kind you ask?  A pillow, blanket or even the arm of your couch (w/ a blanket over it).  Anything that can cause friction against your clitoris.  Basically you will position yourself over the object and proceed to ride it as if you were riding your man.  You should focus on rubbing your clitoris over the object it will end in a mind blowing orgasm.

Don’t forget to pay attention to your other area of your body, your breast, ass, lips, mouth any other area that may turn you on.  Feel free to taste yourself, yeah I said it.  Again, how can you expect someone else to taste you if you’re unwilling to do it yourself.  You can also try masturbating in front of a mirror, the visual definitely helps the mental.  If you’re missing that special someone record it and send it to him.  Just have fun!


I mean it’s so easy for you to achieve an orgasm through sex and masturbation, there’s not much I can really say about it.  Honestly there’s not much I want to say because I’m jealous at the fact that you’re always guaranteed an orgasm.  Anyway, let me get on with it.

1: Of course the most easy and most common way is to loosely wrap your hands around your penis and move your hand up and down.  This definitely varies if your uncircumcised or not, you may not go as hard or you may need to go harder.  Lube is a plus for this action such as lubrication, lotion, vaseline or baby oil.  If you like you can also warm the baby oil giving you the sensation of an actual vajussy.  Make sure you have your tissues close by because its such a turn off to see cum stains on a person’s blanket when they didn’t come from the both of you at the same time…..LOL

2: Another way to jerk your meat (as if you need another technique) is to place just the index finger and thumb around the penis about halfway along the penis and repeatedly slide the shaft skin up and down. A variation on this is to place the fingers and thumb on the penis as if playing a flute, and then shuttle them back and forth. Look if you men don’t understand that, I’m not even going to try and explain it any further.  I am talking about your parts not my own.

3: You can also lie face down on a comfortable surface such as a mattress or pillow and rub your lil man against until you explode.  TISSUES! TISSUES! TISSUES!  Don’t get it twisted you men also have plenty of toys.  Like the old school blow up doll or even an artificial vaginal (they are very well high tech now and cost a pretty penny).  You can also massage your testicles while rubbing your monkey.  I’ve read that you can rub your nipples as well, but I gotta tell you if I see you doing that I’ll laugh at you.

There’s also mutual masturbation where you can masturbate for each other or simply masturbate each other.  You can use the same techniques listed about.  If you’ve never masturbated before hopefully now you will and you can start your new life on a pleasurable journey!  Enjoy!

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Have a wonderful weekend!  Love ya!


For today’s post my homegirl Zena gave me the idea to write about Role Playing.  I know some of you are looking at this like, this girl is tripping.  No this girl is just open and just saying the things you all want to say.  So today instead of being the voice of the women I’m going to be the voice for men.  I’m going to lay out a couple of Role Playing Scenarios that men really really really want to try.

I chose the ones that I hear the most and left some of the most cliche ones out, like the Nurse and Patient one.  I think that’s so wack anyway.  When choosing the role playing games I definitely noticed that most of these can either end you up in jail or get you killed.  It’s because we all want to do things that we’re not supposed to do and most of would probably do these things in real life if it didn’t come with consequences.

Women if you haven’t tried at least one of these before surprise your man and stop being such a stick in the mud.  Here’s some advice for those of you (Men & Women) who are afraid or just don’t feel comfortable enough to role play.

1.  You should definitely feel comfortable enough with your partner sexually, if you don’t you shouldn’t even be engaging in sex with him/her.

2. Totally commit to your character.  I know it can be really hard when you obviously know that the person across from you isn’t actually a “cowboy” or what have you.  If you have trouble staying in character, take a lil sippy sip or wear some dark shades.  It helps when you can’t see the person’s eyes.

3.  Discuss what’s going to happen.  Personally all I need to know is the topic so I can know who I’m supposed to be.  I don’t like to talk too much about it, unless he wants to throw a slap or some choking in there (that definitely needs to be approved). I wouldn’t talk to much because you want it to be some what spontaneous, it shouldn’t be scripted.

4.  Wardrobe can also help you get into the mood.  If you are playing the cliche nurse wearing a pair of sweats and a sports bra just doesn’t cut it.  Go out by a nice sexy nurses outfit and I’ll guarantee you, you’ll have him screaming nurse in no time.

That’s just a couple of tips…….Let’s get into it.  These are in no particular order.


Ok, weird enough a lot a men really want to rape a woman but not harm them.   They just want to be able to get want they want when they want it.  They want to be able to rape a woman with her permission.  It’s not rape then right?  Well that’s when role play comes along.  You can play the sexy sweet woman while your man plays the rough, disrespectful man who forces you to give up the draws to him.  You can have fun with this one.  Start of with him chasing you around, while you constantly cry out for help and for him to stop and leave you alone.  Then he finally captures you and rip your clothes off of you (don’t wear anything you plan on keeping).  Be mindful during sex to scream out “no” and “please don’t Mr. Rapper,”  LOL.


Like I mentioned earlier most of these things can end your ass in jail if you did it in real life.  It’s a lil creepy as well if my man begged me to dress up like a lil school girl with pig tails and during sex call him Daddy (knowing me I would still do it….LOL).   No matter how weird I think this maybe this is one of the top role playing games ever! So who am I to judge.  This is pretty simple.  The woman dresses up in the popular catholic school girl skirt with a white button up (but not so button up) shirt not wearing a bra of course.  You play the innocent school girl while your man simply just plays the man.  I would suggest changing up the names in this game.


That’s right!  A lot of men want to have sex with prostitutes too.  Why?  Because prostitutes are paid to do any and everything to a man with no back talk or negotiations.  But of course there are all sorts of diseases out there which makes it risky not to mention illegal to do.  So how about you play the Call Girl while your man plays the Customer.  Dress up in the sluttiest outfit you can put together and it’ll even be more fun if you stand out on the corner (covered up of course) and have him ride by and pick you up.  You must be willing to do any and everything he wants you to do because remember he is paying you.


This is when your man plays the cop and arrests you for some strange and probably corny reason (for being to beautiful or sexy….LOL).  You can really get into this.  Allow him to question you, frisk you, and cuff you to the bed or railing.  While cuffed, he’ll be able to take advantage of you.  Do anything to you that he wants.  Guess what?  You’re going to let him too because you don’t want to go to jail so you’re going to do anything to him to get out of going into the slammer.  This one can be really fun.

These are just a couple, if I wasn’t rushing out to this event tonight I would have added a couple of more…sorry.  These should get you started.  It’s time to stop having boring sex and explore.  Add some spice in your life.  If you think sex is good now wait until you try adding a twist in it and you can start off with role playing.  Something that’s been done many years before I was even thought of, I’m just relaying the message to you.

Have fun!  Enjoy yourselves!  Don’t forget to subscribe to my blog, click on “Sign Me Up!”


As I sit in the office waiting on my burger, onion rings and black & white shake a great idea popped into my head.  Not really popped I’ve actually been wanting to write about this for sometime.  In my opinion the number 2 reason why relationships end is because of social networks like (Facebook, Twitter, Myspace  & for all you wack ass people….Black Planet).

Let’s be honest…….How many arguments have you ever gotten into with your boo over something that either you or someone else said on your page.  It could be something as small as “Hi! Haven’t heard from you in a while.”  LOL next thing you know…..”Who is this bitch?”  I’m laughing because it reminds me of Martin’s, You So Crazy; when the coat check lady asked for the jackets.  Anyway, the majority of you have gotten into arguments.  Luckily my man is too much of a private person for any of those sites so I don’t really have to worry about him.  I will tell you that I sometimes even hate to see my ex-boos with other girls or making sexy comments toward other women (just being honest).

So how harmful can a social network be to a relationship?  I’m glad you asked.  First off I think its a horrible idea to be friends with someone you’re seeing, unless the relationship is new.  I say that because I believe we should know who we’re dealing with and I’m a spier I will find out everything I can about someone when I first start seeing them.  You find out exactly who a person is through social networks, through them, their pictures and most importantly their friends.

If you already know the person and their friends I suggest you not be his friend.  Why?  Because you’re going to be looking at every girl’s page at every girl’s comment wondering who they are and why they’re commenting on your man’s page.  Right now at this moment I’m speaking to the ladies because this is what we do, I know I’m a woman.  Like I mentioned before I don’t have to worry about this situation but I’ve definitely done some “Research” for my friends and with my friends.  We’ve even figured out passwords…LOL

I know you men are thinking that’s messed up, she should trust me.  Men, women are curious beings by nature and if it’s nothing there to find you should be alright.  Listen, I personally don’t think a social site is worth your relationship and if it fails because of it your relationship wasn’t strong in the first place.  I know plenty of people who’ve had relationships end because of Facebook.  Sometimes it’s unfortunate because you get those conniving women who have nothing else better to do but break up your relationship.

It irritates the crap out of me to see two women go back and forth on FB about a man that obviously the both of you have been with.  The whole while their friends are cheering and motivating them to act more ignorant.  We never see two men do that.  The two women should come together and bust him.  Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.  Now you not only lost your man but you put your business on front street and you look ignorant as hell doing so (I’ll blog about this at another time).

So my suggestion to you is to not be friends with your boo if you are the type of person to feed in to negativity.  Haters are every where and a lot of them reside on FB.  If you’re the type of person who likes to throughly investigate and ask question and can let silly stuff roll off your back then go head and be friends.  One of my good friends is now engaged and refuses to be FB friends with her fiance just because she just doesn’t want to entertain the negativity if it presented it self.  Of course I took her advice because she’s where I will someday like to be, married (well about to be).

The purpose of a social network is to be sociable, to have the chance to communicate with people you don’t see on the regular.  Hopefully you see your significant other on the regular and if you do answer this.  What’s the point of being his friend on a social network?  He’s already your friend in real life and you know more about his whereabouts then his friends on FB or whatever site.  You have his number and address for God’s sake you don’t need to be in every single part of his life.

To each it’s own but please think about it before you become friends with your lover.  And yall know me if you have any good Social Site/Relationship stories please share at  Also don’t forget to subscribe to this blog for all of your Risque updates! Just click on “Sign Me Up”

Good Guy Vs. Bad Guy


I had to do today’s post for all of the good men out there. For the men who work, take care of home and their families and still find it hard to find and keep a good woman. Impossible right? I mean it has to be impossible, because there are so many women out here complaining about how they can’t find a good black man. I will say ladies that I know it’s not the easiest thing for a woman to find, it’s like finding a needle in the hay stack but there are good men out there (please refer back to my “Something New” post).

But I’m mainly speaking to the women who have had a good man and let him go simply because he was too nice, too attentive, not thugged out enough, well educated, and treated a woman like the piece of diamond that she is. Or the women who refused to date a man with those qualities. First let me slap the shit out of you for being so damn stupid (hopefully I knocked some sense back into you). Secondly: Do you know how many single women wished they had a man with all of those qualities?

Now, most of you know I work in the world of tv/film and you know when you watch television half of the shit you see is fake and would rarely happen in real life. Television shows us what would would like to happen in the real world. You know how in movies the good guys always win but once the movie is over you realize that the film was just a pseudo vision of your own life. Because the only reason why the good guy won is because he had some type of special power like flying, the ability to create strong spider webs or the impressive skill to dodge bullets. In real life when it comes to relationships the good guys don’t win, they mostly finish last.

I have girlfriends who rather choose the thug over the nice guy and I have nice guy friends who always get dumped over the wack excuse of him being too nice. Those are probably the same girls who prefer a thug. The same girl who always cry and pout about how their man always disrespect them and how they wish he would treat them better. But when they finally get with a good man they leave them because they’re just simply out of their mind.

Men go through the same thing. They always want the woman who treats them like shit. I used to talk to this dude who would call and complain about how bad the girl will treat him. I mean he went through jail, fights & some more stuff just to be with this girl, but the whole time he never even thought about the girl he was calling to confide in. The girl he used to have feelings for but not enough to make her his girl but knew he could always call in his time of need. I could never figure out why he would want someone who put him through all of that drama when lil ol drama free me was there. That was my fault, no one else’s.

So what’s the solution? How do we get the good women/men to want the nice guys/girls? I believe you have to go outside of your norm because obviously you have a type and the asshole type falls in your category. If what you’re used to isn’t working then you have no choice but to choose something different. If you don’t, then guess what? The same thing will keep happening over and over. Trust me, I know.

Know your worth. Once you realize your worth you’ll have a better understanding of what you deserve in life. Don’t give all of your goodness to someone who doesn’t deserve it because you don’t want to waste it on that person. I’ve seen too many people turn cold and heartless because they wasted all of their goodness on the wrong one.

Let’s turn our lives into a movie and let the nice guy win for a change. To all of you good brothers out there stop playing around and just go head and settle down, make some lucky lady happy (I know a couple of you, don’t make me call you out).

Hope you enjoyed! Don’t forget, leave a comment. Subscribe to this blog and do something good today! Oh here’s a video for your enjoyment…..Salt n Pepa, Whatta Man!


For today’s post I decided to do something fun.   I’m such a music person (way more than I am a film/tv person, and that’s how I make my living).  Music has always been there for me, it speaks to me in many ways people don’t.  It helps me understand things like love and heartbreak and it helps me understand how a man should make me feel and properly make love to me.  A lot of times when I’m unable to express myself, I can always find a song to do it for me and then have no problem with telling the person to listen to the song.

I didn’t really know what I wanted to write about today until I asked my homegirl Chrissy what she thought I should write about and she suggested me to write about “Sponsorship,” because of Teairra Mari’s new song Sponsor.  Before I hit the topic of “Sponsorship,” aka “Sugar Daddies”  I wanted to do this quick lil count down.  My top 10 Favorite “Sex Songs”.


Silk—————-> FREAK ME

This song is all about the man letting down his guard in the bedroom and only has one thing on his mind and that’s pleasing the woman. Not to mention the fact that they promise to use their tongue on every inch of your body. It’s sexy as hell to a woman when a man is able to tell her exactly what he wants to do to her and not mention anything about what HE wants HER to do to HIM! If someone said this to me, I expect him to show me a couple of new things w/ his freaky self!


This should really be closer to number one in the real world, but this is my world. I love the song and what he’s saying, but it’s not my era so this wouldn’t be the first sex song I put on. I realize without Marvin there will be no R.Kelly, Silk’s or H-Towns. I like this song because he was direct and to the point and didn’t let up even when the woman said no (“or beat around the bush”). He had the power and the sexiness to make anyone change their mind and drop their panties! GET IT MARVIN!


Again fellas it’s sexy as hell to let a woman know that you want her and you want her so much you can’t wait! This was Ginuwine in his prime and he was one of the sexiest R&B singers out at this time so he could have been singing about some ponies and we would have loved it (Oh wait he did…LOL). Besides him being sexy, the entire song exuded sex.


Ladies we all know how it feels to be at home alone and the only thing we can think about is making love to the one we’re with. You’ve been turned on all day and you’re driving yourself crazy with your thoughts. Right before you pull out your vibrator, he finally walks in and puts it on you so good he leaves your ass SPEECHLESS! Beyonce doesn’t make many “Sexing in the Bed” songs but this one should definitely be in your “Sex Play list”


For all you guys that have called Tevin “tangy” at one point in your life, I don’t care what you say! This song right here is enough proof for me to let him hit this any and every type of way imaginable. I was young when this song came out but I remember being turned on by it and wanting him to break it down with me (I had an imagination, GOODNESS!). “What’s my name baby?” “Tevin!”

Jodeci—————> Feenin

To know that your sex is so good to a man that he’s willing to give you his money, house and cars is sexy as hell. Women are just like men we like to know if our va jay-jay is good to you and if we’re putting it down correctly. Jodeci did a great job with letting the women in their lives know they were putting it down! What better song to show off your skills or turn your man into a craze sex addict by freaking him to this song! Good Luck ladies, my man has been hooked for a year! LOL


This song reminds me of that guy (like an ex, a good friend, or your girl’s man) you want to really have sex with but you know it’ll be a mistake. You also know that the only reason why he’s still there in the late night hours is to have sex with you. Any slow joint Floetry put out is sexy, with their sensual mixture of poetry and R&B singing. You can’t really go wrong with them. It makes me think about my old boo, who loves himself some Floetry.

NE-Yo ———————–> SAY IT

There are sometimes where I like to be in control (well most of the time) but I love it when the man takes control and I’m able to take the back seat. Ne-Yo does exactly that with this song. To be honest with you this is the first song I click on in my “Sex Play List” He makes the woman he’s with tell him what she wants and he’s not going to do it until she says it. And he’s being a total ass hole by knowing exactly what she wants and still aint doing it. Either way, this song turns me on!


Janet is my girl! She’s always been a freak and she’s not afraid to say exactly what she wants to say. I gave her props for masturbating on her Velvet Rope album. In this songs she’s telling the man what she want to do to him. “I just want to kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you, make you cum too (as if you guys don’t cum)” This song is hot from the minute it comes on, I get turned on by this song and I’m a female….LOL I just wish more people can be as sexually expressive as Janet and I (we put it in an art form). Poor guy in the video…LOL

R.Kelly —————–> All of Em (LOL)

Seriously I tried to pick just one R. Kelly song for number 1 but I just couldn’t so here’s a video of 12 Play (since you guys know I like to be told what to do). Are you really surprised that he’s number one? I hope not. R. Kelly is the best at making sex songs and no one can top him and I challenge anyone of you to try to think of someone who can make a woman’s panties wetter than R.Kelly can. This man has just as many sales from men as women because men know they better have some R.Kelly on rotation if they plan on getting us in the mood. The Pied Piper of R&B had definitely earned his title.

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This post goes out to all my crazy folk, those of you who get a lil touch of crazy at times.  By now you guys know that I’m willing to share a little bit about my life (I can’t give it all to you guys, I gotta keep some things to myself).  With that being said, this post is no different.

Have you ever been done wrong by your loved one? Or anyone period?  That person made you so mad that you were willing to do anything to get back at the person.  That person hurt you so bad that you didn’t care about the lengths you had to go through to get your revenge.

I’ve never really been the crazy girlfriend type but I’ve always been the person where I never let anyone get away with thinking they’re getting over on me.  I’m also not a fighter (I’m too fly to fight….LOL).  I’ll just use my mouth as a weapon and cut your ass so deep you wouldn’t even know you were cut until I leave.

But I’ve been a witness my girlfriends cut up and act a fool over their men (sometimes I would be right there).  I used to think if you gotta go through all that in order to be with him you might as well just leave him alone (spoken from a woman who wasn’t in a relationship).  I just like to be drama free, drama doesn’t look good on me.   I soon learned that the world doesn’t just allow someone to be drama free sometimes shit just happens.

This had to be one of the biggest arguments Tony and I have ever been in.  It really wasn’t an argument because one thing about Tony is when he knows he’s wrong, he’ll admit it and surprisingly he’ll sit and listen as long as we’re having a conversation and I’m not yelling at him (which I never do).  I’m not going to get into the details of it but know that I was extremely pissed.

I became an entirely different person and it was scary to me because I’ve never seen that side of me.  I was so angry I got up at 5:30 the next morning to meet him outside (because like I told you before I know his schedule like the back of my hand).  Anyway I got to his house (which is 5 mins from mine, driving) and the trash truck was coming. I got out of my car because I knew at any minute he’ll be running out behind the truck with his trash like he do every Monday morning.  Sure enough two seconds later he was running out of his house.

I ran up on him in front of the trash man and was just going in on him.  Then he made me even madder because after I went in on him he goes “yeah you’re right, I was wrong.” I was expecting him to get angry and some more but he didn’t.  Before that all happened I wanted to go Jazmine Sullivan on him and bust the windows out of his truck and slice all of his tires.  I decided on the car because its very difficult to hurt Tony but I knew if I messed his car up I would be doing a lot to him because he uses his car for work. There are only two reasons why I didn’t do it.  1.  I forgot I was afraid of the law. & 2. I knew I was acting out of character.

I took a look at myself and I was like.  I should never give anyone that much power over my emotions.  Where I’m willing to go outside of my morals and do something that messed up.  I’m not a get back person because I believe in karma and I want no type of relationship with her.

I’m sure there are some of you who’ve participated in the “Get Back Marathon,” and I’m sure that in most cases it ends up bad.  I’ve heard it all and I’m sure you guys have some interesting stories to tell (U know I want to hear them). Men you play it too! Oh let me also mention that one of the worst “Get Backs” ever is going out and cheating on him/her.  What are you doing?  Giving another person your body……ok and? The one person it hurts the most is yourself.  That just doesn’t make sense to me.  If you’re going to cheat, cheat because you want to not because of the other person (that advice is to women ONLY…LOL but it’s bad advice, just don’t cheat).

Obviously I believe that revenge in a relationship is horrible.  It only make matters worse, someone will definitely get arrested or have a restraining order.  Most of you reading my blog are adults, we are too old to be doing this type of stuff.  Including going on facebook and clocking every single girl he’s befriended (oooh new idea).  Thankfully my man is too old and doesn’t have the patients or the want to be on FB.

Think twice before “Keeping It Real,” because it can definitely go wrong.  But I will say if you are that person without being ticked off, just a natural vindictive angry person then some jail time may do you well and God bless who ever you’re with.  If you guys are the same I pray I don’t see you guys on one of my favorite shows SNAPPED

Moral of this blog is that revenge is never worth it, take the high road.  I had a very hard time saying that last sentence because the angry side of me is saying “sometimes it is worth it.”  It’s hard keeping my Gemini side tamed.  Let me say the right thing to do is to take the high road.  I know it’s hard to do.  Ask yourself if it’ll make you feel better.  Most likely it will…LOL Ask yourself if you’re still going to be with him the next day.  If so let it be, it ain’t worth it.